three limericks about Television

A while ago, I offered (as a premium for the Best Music Writing Kickstarter) to write three limericks apiece, clean or dirty, about the musical artist or recording of five backers’ choice. (All five picked “dirty.”) One of them–Bryan Waterman, the author of Television’s Marquee Moon (33 1/3)–asked specifically for limericks about the Richard Hell-era lineup of Television. Here’s what I came up with; I managed to sneak in a lot of in-jokes about the band, including a sideways reference to my favorite unreleased song of theirs…

Theresa’s mien on the marquee
Means there’s only one foxhole–oh me!
++A more aching-tushed fool
++Says Stern’s johnny’s a jewel–
She’s a TV Rrose Sélavy.

Richard Hell’s clothing lacks enough closure
For the Bowery coppers’ composure.
++The fuzz don’t mind the nip,
++But his jeans’ jimmy rip
Gets him busted for double exposure.

So they grill Richie down at the station:
“Are these duds how you get circulation
++To your glamorous willie?”
++He snaps “Just ask Hilly:
I’m part of the ______ deviation.”


Recent stuff I’ve published:

*The last three “Dredd Reckoning” reviews: on Insurrection, the third Judge Anderson: The Psi Files collection, and (with Carl Wilson) Tour of Duty: Mega-City Justice.

*MTV Hive pieces on Yo La Tengo’s “Ohm” and its relatives, and on New Order’s family tree.

*A Pitchfork review of New Order’s Lost Sirens.